For us Oklahomans, it felt like Summer would never, ever end. We’ve had record high temperatures and countless issues with drought, so much so that the city pool here had to close for most of the Summer to allow for water conservation. Eventually, the rain came and all was well, but in the midst of the humidity so thick you could cut it with a dull knife, you could say it was hard to feel too positive when you stepped outside. I wouldn’t even say the heat is completely gone yet, but I am feeling the ebb, thank God.

The Church metaphorically describes stages of people’s lives as “seasons,” and I’ve always appreciated this comparison. Just like the changing seasons in the physical world, spiritual seasons come and go. This cyclical nature is reassuring. It might sound odd to find comfort in the fact that all seasons, including the pleasant ones, eventually transition, suggesting contentment in the conclusion of happy times.

However, that’s not the case. The concept isn’t about being glad that good times come to an end. There isn’t a clear-cut division into “good” or “bad” seasons. Each season contains elements of both, but it’s challenging to label any of them as entirely one or the other.

My current season of life seems to revolve around hospital stays—numerous and frequent ones. Given my existing health issues, being in the hospital is far from ideal for both me and my family and it appears that we gauge life’s seasons based upon these events. However, we did experience a welcomed respite of over the last two years without major surgeries or significant health issues—a much-needed break and a tremendous blessing during this journey.

• On May 26th, I had foot surgery to address a long-standing bunion issue on my right foot. Initially, I anticipated a short recovery period, envisioning a couple of weeks in a boot. However, the reality involved a much more extended duration in the boot, followed by rehab and persistent pain.
  • Bright side? My foot is much better than it was and I can wear shoes more comfortably now.I also weirdly love going to my podiatrist – he’s a neat guy and his nurses/staff are so good to me.
• On July 25th, during an outdoor church activity, I fainted due to dehydration. As an adult with specific hydration issues, you’d think I’d have been able to plan for this but I dropped the ball there. The signs were hard to discern, as well, given that dehydration causes mental confusion. Regrettably, this resulted in a head injury/concussion, prompting an ambulance trip to the ER for necessary fluids and a period of rest.
  • Bright side? My friend is an ER nurse and she was volunteering at the activity at this time, too, so I was in amazingly good hands.
• On August 5th, I underwent emergency abdominal surgery due to severe stomach pain, with a suspected bowel perforation. Surprisingly, the surgery revealed no perforation, which I consider a miracle. Nonetheless, I bore the scars of a significant midline incision for the second time in my life. Throughout this demanding period, I grappled with fluctuating pain levels and the necessary, albeit uncomfortable, management of pain through medications.
  • Bright side? I was never without prayer, visitors, love, support, or guidance from my family, my church family, and my friends.
• Yesterday, I went to the hospital for severe kidney pain and abdominal pain. Fearing sepsis or a bowel perforation, I went in to get it checked. It was simply pyelonephritis, which is extremely treatable.
  • Bright side? It wasn’t as bad as we assumed at first and I was treated by an amazing doctor/nurse team at the ER. I honestly could not have asked for a better medical professional team.
• While doing the CT scans on the 5th of August, they also found a significantly large kidney stone on my left kidney (hence the pain on Monday night/Tuesday morning). Because I lack an ileum (part of the small intestine), it’s easy for me to get kidney stones. Today, I had to get a surgery for it called “extracorporeal shockwave lithotripsy“.
• Bright side? I’m home now because it was a day surgery and I feel relatively fine. It wasn’t an invasive procedure and my urologist is phenomenal.

In challenging times, finding happiness can be tough, even when trying to see the positive in everything that has happened since May. I’m not suggesting we should always look at the bright side in a simplistic way; life is more complex than that. I understand it’s difficult to reconcile with all of life’s unfortunate events, especially with a loving Creator. I’ve struggled with this too. However, I remind myself that we live in a Fallen world.

I once shared with an atheist friend the belief that God’s plan might not align with our desires, but God can transform what the Enemy meant for chaos into something positive. I also brought up the concept of a “fallen world.”

In response, my friend skeptically remarked, “Well, isn’t that just convenient?”

In reality? It’s far from convenient. It’s challenging to hold onto the belief that things will ultimately work out, even if we may not witness or experience it ourselves. Dealing with the possibility that we won’t see the results of our efforts can be deeply frustrating.

This is my perspective on faith generally, this clip from A League of Our Own, and I believe you can grasp the metaphor I’m using here, where “baseball” serves as my symbolic representation for faith, without needing further explanation.

While I’m not particularly inclined towards proselytizing outside of a blog setting, I recall a pastor at our church emphasizing that sharing about Jesus doesn’t always have to revolve around theological knowledge or scholarly research. It can simply entail recounting a personal experience where Jesus was profoundly present in one’s life. A personal testimony is sometimes far more powerful because, if told honestly, it is hard to argue against.

Following this advice, I began utilizing my Bible and journal to document specific moments of struggle I encountered during this summer. I’ve color-coded tabs in my Bible, each representing what’s on that page. Whether it’s a meaningful verse from YouVersion or a segment from a sermon series at church, each has its color. Particularly, I’ve designated a blue tab for instances where God directly answered my prayers, along with a related verse and a brief summary of the blessing. As a result, the pages have gradually filled up with these blue tabs, serving as a tangible reminder of God’s faithfulness.

On the flip side, I’ve also experienced moments where forced positivity or attempts to uplift wouldn’t have been well-received, considering my circumstances. I’d like to offer a suggestion for those aiming to provide comfort: “Don’t sing songs to a broken heart.” It’s crucial to acknowledge and respect the depth of someone’s emotions during difficult times, allowing space for authentic feelings and healing.