Part of my internship at my church this year is discovering how the sausage is made and getting a behind-the-scenes look at how the church actually functions. A big portion of that involves working within my calling in pastoral care: refining knowledge, learning more, practicing it, and then learning even more after that.

For someone like me who loves school, knowledge, and learning, I’m already enjoying every minute. And truly, I’m not above getting coffee, making copies, or mopping a floor. It’s all part of the experience, and none of it feels wasted.

Mentorship That Matters

One of the richest gifts of this internship is learning from our pastors at church. One aspect is one-on-one mentorship with one of our pastors and learning under her directly. I respect her deeply, and even a minute of her time feels valuable. She has this gentle, steady presence that somehow manages to hold both compassion and clarity at the same time.

Today, we talked about something I wrestle with: caring without carrying.

She shared a podcast that she had listened to earlier that, though it was not the whole of the podcast topic, touched briefly on being present with someone without taking on someone else’s pain, anger, etc.

It’s not that I don’t trust God. I do. But I am also extremely empathetic, and when it comes to justice issues, I feel things intensely. I want to step in and solve what isn’t mine to solve.

The Rubber Band Lesson

Half-joking, I told her maybe I should wear a rubber band around my wrist and snap it every time I fall into the habit of carrying something that belongs to God. People use that trick to quit smoking; maybe I could use it to quit spiritual over-functioning.

So every time I said something I wasn’t meant to carry, or something that distressed me because I couldn’t fix it, she would mimic snapping a rubber band on her own wrist.

We laughed, but the moment stuck with me. It reminded me how vital good mentorship is, and how seriously she takes her responsibility in shaping future leaders. It also reminded me how blessed I am to have pastors who invest in me with love, gentleness, truth, and humor. She can hold me accountable while still offering grace…and yes, “snap” me back to reality when needed.

Three Things I Learned This Week

a. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.

Compassion does not require self-destruction. Loving people well means knowing where your responsibility ends and God’s begins.

b. Don’t carry what belongs to God.

You’ll know when you’ve crossed that line…your spirit gets heavy in all the wrong ways. That’s the signal to hand it back to Him.

c. Find a spiritually mature mentor.

This was touched upon in the podcast she recommended. Not someone to babysit you or do your emotional labor, but someone to learn from. Someone whose life and character you want to emulate. They’re not there to “fix” you; they’re there to spiritually direct you, encourage you, challenge you, and walk beside you.

The “Next Right Thing”

Another thing the podcast touched upon was “the next right thing” going into 2026. So, going forward, I’m going to use that principle, coupled with Isaiah 30:21, to understand where God is guiding me and what the “next right thing” is and what it is not.

For me? My next right thing will be continuing the lesson. My mentor didn’t intend this podcast to be “it” for me this month – it wasn’t “listen to this and you’re done.” She wants me to think about, pray about, and continue to learn about “caring without carrying” and what that looks like for me. I’ve already found a few books and podcasts on this topic; I’m excited to keep learning and share what I’ve gleaned from them with her next month!