Every year, around the same time (it varies since we homeschool), I sit down with my daughter, Abigail, and read Oh the Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss. We might not have ever touched throughout the year in favor of newer books, but we always sit down and read this one before she starts school. It was given to me by my momma and my sister, Leah, before I went to middle school (redacted) years ago and I’ve treasured it for that long.

I doubt the good doctor intended to pen a theological work, but I consider this children’s book to be among the greatest lessons in faith besides the Bible, up there with Mere Christianity by CS Lewis.

This year, Abigail turns 13 and she’s going on a big trip with her grandfather for her birthday. Originally, the plan was that the three of us would go to the Big Apple in 2020 for her 10th but I don’t need to tell you why those plans fell flat. As sad as it was to miss out, there were people suffering far more than some canceled travel plans so, you know, perspective. Abby took it like she takes most things – far exceeding my maturity level at that age and sometimes, exceeding my maturity at my current age.

At one time, we were in the car, and I was raging at the person in front of me. I called them a “jackass”. Abby squeaked from the back seat, “Mommy – they’re not a jackass; they’re just people.” Ever been humbled by a 4-year-old? It’s a jolt to the heart that fills you with pride and shame.

Knowing that my daughter is probably more mature than I am sometimes means I get to learn a lot of things alongside her. Times have changed dramatically since I was a kid; while I had a decent upbringing and I have no issues with it, I recognize there are things from the 90s that were not so great for mental health or, surprisingly, faith. The Word of God has not changed but I think our understanding and application of it has as we all navigate this world and coexist with one another. I’m not exactly a hippie – just more a “to each their own but I’d love to share the love of Christ with you” type these days. Being otherwise is exhausting; just trust me on that.

When Abby was growing up, I was not only fairly young at 25 and just coming off a near fatal-accident/a lot of life change; I was still very much in my infancy on understanding God, myself, my mind/emotions, and how I fit in the grand scheme of things, if at all. When I say there are times where I grew up with Abby, I mean it quite literally. No, she’s not raising me – I’m still the “mommasaurus rex” – but as the first kid, she’s definitely been a steep learning curve in many wonderful, blessed ways.

“Why bring up Oh The Places You’ll Go, you little ADHD freak?” you might ask. Glad you brought it up – I would have forgotten since we’re further down the entry and my mind wanders.

This year, for our tradition, we were a little pressed for time due to her travel plans. She’s starting her school year while visiting family, so we had to “adapt and overcome” and read OTPYG on the fly – literally in the car on the way to the airport. It actually ended up being a nice experience, listening to her dramatically read the book she grew up with Sammy, my youngest. He likely gleaned nothing from the text, but he enjoyed the time with his Sissy, and that’s all that matters.

I dropped her off as an unaccompanied minor and part of that deal is that I have to go with her to the gate. I did this before last year but it was by myself so Sammy was a new addition to the proceedings. He was not enthusiastic about losing his best friend but I think he also has melted quite well into the “only child life” – the tears stopped after 5 minutes of non-stop, uninterrupted cuddles from Momma in the terminal.

Because I didn’t want Sammy to start crying more, I was able to keep my emotions in check, and we made it through it all. Though calm outwardly, my heart was hurting a lot hugging the now-young-woman, who is about half an inch shorter than I am, goodbye. The whole evolution – the book, my fear of her traveling on her own, missing her, etc., etc., etc. – got me to thinking a lot as I drove home. Sammy fell asleep, so I got a great amount of thinking done on the hour-long drive.

The first thing to note about the book is that it specifically deals with a path. Might seem a bit “on the nose” and “no duh” for anyone who has read the Bible – the Good Book mentions a “path”, both tangible and metaphorical over 50 times. I’ve already warned y’all that I’m not a theologian – I’m just relating my experience.

Then worry started to creep in – what if something happened to the plane? What if someone kidnaps her? What if my dad or daughter get sick? Spiral spiral spiral…

Some would tell you that a mother’s natural instinct leans toward fear and that my being anxious was par for the course. In some ways, correct. I’ve noticed over the years my worries/stress always center on the here and now, especially with our kids. As a military police officer in the Navy (redacted) years ago? I could deal with blood and acute stress better because it was what I was trained to do. However, my children? Nope. Can’t do it. I’m a liability. What’s great is that my husband swoops in with his calculating crisis management and we all get through it relatively unscathed. My husband, it should be noted, freaks out about long-term issues so the “teamwork makes the dream work” atmosphere of marriage is not lost on me.

What I do not accept, personally, is the use of the specific word “fear” when describing what I feel when I watch the kids do something a little more “grown up” every day or motherhood/womanhood in general. Perhaps it’s just semantics but I feel the distinction matters. I think that there’s a vast difference as big as all the oceans combined between “fear” and “concern”.

“Concern” means I’m aware that there are things that might happen that I don’t like and that there are very real evils in the world. Concern can still lead to acceptance and relinquishment to God’s will, come what may – but it just as easily can turn to fear and anxiety so we have a choice. I don’t have to like whatever situation occurs but I do, as a Christian, have to accept it. I’ll pray actively no harm comes to my children but again – if I believe what Romans 8:28 tells us, then I have to apply that to all areas of my life, even the people most precious to me. Being concerned/aware is just using the instincts God gave me.

On that note, allow me to offer another book recommendation. This particular book was one my mother insisted I read when I was sixteen. Both she and I have worked in the criminal justice field, and her counsel carries significant weight in that realm. But since I was not in that field at sixteen, I was prone to disregard her advice. However, this particular piece of wisdom resonated with me—perhaps due to her intense demeanor. She handed me a copy of The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker, instructing me to read every single word from cover to cover.

Interestingly, she didn’t just recommend this book to her two daughters; she also makes it a Christmas gift, a tradition she continues to this day, it seems. While her primary audience tends to be women, she acknowledges, as my husband points out, that “anyone can get got.” Evil knows no bounds, and The Gift of Fear seeks to level the playing field. The title might be a bit misleading, but I believe they use “fear” in a similar way to how I’ve been discussing “concern” – as situational awareness and a reliance on instincts. However, titles like The Gift of Concern or The Gift of Situational Awareness lack the same punch.

The kind of fear which the Bible is fairly specific in numerous verses that we not do is a whole other story. “Fear” in the 300+ verses telling us not to refers to a spiraling worry tantamount to not trusting God to handle things. I’m not saying this like it’s an easy thing to do – trusting implicitly and without reserve – I struggle with it daily. We are creatures of control and to ask us to relinquish that control, even the control over whether we worry or not, is a tall order, even for the most faithful of Christians. It’s not something that happens overnight but, much like yoga or piano, a practice; it’s a perishable skill.

All I can do as a mother and a daughter of both God and a retired prosecutor is this: teach them from important books – chiefly the Bible, yes – but also from unlikely places like the Seussian epic about a guy (we say “girl” when I read it to Abby) with “a brain in his head and feet in his shoes” embarking on a journey that encompasses moments of wonder, fear, tedium, beauty, despair, and excitement. What strikes me as particularly poignant is his refusal to retreat. He doesn’t abandon the path at the first sign of trouble, proclaiming, “I’m outta here.” Instead, he forges ahead, even when the Hakken Kraks howl and scare the bejesus out of him or when he’s stuck in a slump.

It’s not uncommon for many of us, including myself, to occasionally look back or revisit past experiences. There’s no intention of shaming anyone for this—it’s a children’s book, after all, so it’s important to consider its perspective. Still, any way we can apply God’s Word and intentions in practical and accessible manners gets a resounding green light from me. After all, imparting knowledge is all about finding relatable ways to connect with the material.

When she gets a wee bit older, I’ll let/”make” her read Gift of Fear but for right now I just give her practical lessons for her age-level that I learned specifically from that book.

Will any of these books I’ve mentioned 100% keep you or I safe from harm? Nope. Sorry. Hate to be the one to break that to anyone unaware but if harm does befall you, please know that it is not your fault – none of these books (most of all the Bible) seek to “victim blame” so much as to help circumvent bad things with life lessons and to heal the wounds when bad things happen.

While I don’t live in constant mind-gripping fear for my children’s safety as much anymore since finding Christ and embracing Him fully, a certain level of concern is inherently woven into the fabric of motherhood. But I’m also confident that God watches over them, even in the face of adversity. They possess the strength to overcome challenges and emerge stronger than before. Just as Philippians 4:13 states, they can do everything through Christ who strengthens them.

This knowledge comes from my own life experiences, and my role is to impart this understanding to my children. Thankfully, I have an array of impactful books to help convey this message, allowing me to meet them at their current stages of life and facilitate their growth.